The Holiday Spirit

IT's RANT TIME!!!
Ok...so today I decided to try and finish my shopping. I only have a few things to get so it's not a problem.
I'm in this store...I am standing in the aisle, close to the shelves and this lady just barrels into me, grabs an item and nearly knocks me over, and then proceeds to tell me to watch where I am and be considerate of other shoppers trying to shop...
I gave her a look and said "Excuse me???" in my best Nice bitch voice.
I was the only other person in the aisle and I really didn't see that there was a run on this item...it was a fricken coffee maker.
Now, I know I shouldn't cast stones, but this woman makes my ass look like a supermodel's ass. Stretch Pants should be outlawed, as well as too tight tunic shirts over the pants. And don't forget the NASCAR coat that can't be zipped, but damn she had one of those fancy leather ones on to look cool. (I've been watching too much "What not to Wear" on TLC)
I was about ready to take one of my clog wearing feet and shove it up her...but I didn't want to ruin my fave pair of shoes. I wasn't wearing my bitch boots today. And thank goodness I wasn't wearing my stilettos.
I'm finding out that as each year passes...people are getting nastier at the holiday time. Women especially ...and I thought we were the fairer sex. BS! Most of the men are more polite than the women. But then again, you also run into a major asshole at least once a week.
Well...I politely stepped away and sweetly cooed "have a Happy Holiday" and walked away. Now those of you that know me...know exactly how I cooed and left the scene...it was like I was leaving Tiffany's and it had this Ice Queen tone to my voice...always act like a lady and kill them with kindness.
Needless to say...I heard her husband chew her ass out after I left and called her a bitch! I hope he has a good holiday season. Thank you, Mister for saying what I was thinking. But then again...I don't think their house is all sunshine and roses.
Let the Festivities Begin!