She's come undone
She didn't know what she was headed for
And when I found what she was headed for,
It was too late
UNDONE by The Guess Who

This song came on while I was on my morning drive to work and I just flipped out. One of those paranoid moments that you think they are playing the songs on the radio just for you. It’s hit me. Everything is over, (the play, the end of a few things...) I’ve had a bit of calm and today I have the MEAN REDS. As Holly Golightly says…
“The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of. Don't you ever get that feeling? When I get it, what does any good is to jump into a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness, the proud look. Nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany's, then... “

Well, I don’t have a Tiffany’s to just go visit and I know that I can snap out of this Mean Red phase in no time. I am coming down with a cold, a bit stressed, not sleeping well, trying to clean out my apartment and sorting out my psyche on top of it all. I’m wondering if there is something in the air at the moment.I can name a few things that I am quite afraid of. I can name some things that I am angry about. I can name some things that right now could make me cry. I can name some things that I will never be able to resolve, come to a conclusion about, end or have the last word over. ( I don't like NOT having the last word - me the word girl that I am) I can name some things that I will never have the chance to say goodbye about or to.

I had a good chat with some women friends today…they keep me balanced and they reminded me of what is truly important. This “Sad” crap has to stop. Maybe it’s just because the weather is turning – like I said… something might be in the air. Then again my “year from hell” is soon over. And when it is...oh there will be rejoicing. So, am not going to come undone. It just feels like it and then tomorrow I’ll end up writing something that makes me so very happy…like Hot Chocolate on a cold day, giggles, a genuine smile, and free lunch.
Free lunch is always good.
See…I’m getting better already.