Move over Homestar Runner!

Foamy on a rant...
Foamy is one pissed-off squirrel. His favorite word is "f**k", he loves bagels and cream cheese, and he goes off on these rants that somehow make total sense. The first time I saw Foamy...I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard. He makes Strong Bad seem like a wuss. Really.
http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html
This is the site for Foamy and his buddies at "Ill Will"
Here are some nuggets of wisdom:
On dieting...
* "stop doing all these unnecessary diets. cause ya know, once you get down to your goal weight youll say "sure, i can have an extra piece of cake! look at all the weight i lost!" then before you know it RWEEEET back on the diet cause your a$$ is fallin' out of your jeans."
* "I hate standing in line and in front of me, someone smells! And in back of me, someone smells! It's like being stuck in the middle of a funk sandwich!"
* "i hate it when a diet says you can have 3 hamburgers and a pound of bacon but you cant have an apple, because it has carbs,eeeeeeeeeee, f*ck that!!"

Dating Advice:
* AND...watch out for guys that call you by pet names more than they do your own name, and if they ever refer to you as "my girl" you drop that fucker like a rock
* My only piece of advice to have a sound relationship is to leave each other alone. Don't be overly concerned. Don't try to domineer them, Let them be independent. Let them do what they want. You think you people can understand that?
* I particularly hate are those fucking slime-balls ... that usually end up going to bars and shit like that on friday, saturday, sunday night, to see if they can pick up chicks. And all they do is walk around with these fucking stupid velvety shirts with their dumb-ass fat hairy chests exposed to the world, as if they were the sexiest thing on the face on the earth. You know what!, you're a middle aged loser, nobody wants to see your hairy chest. Either; throw yourself in front of traffic or overdose, please!. Nobody wants to hear this bullshit anymore, time for some revaluation of ones life.
* And in closing, you know it’s shit like this that pisses me off it’s just these types of people that have no "inner soul" no nothing, they just revolve around their own pathetic little world with no consideration for what’s going on around them. They have no sense or grasp of reality and really need to be taken off the face of this earth, they have no substance, they have no control over themselves...

This is one Bad Ass Little Squirrel. Enjoy!